Anshul Samar
my blog

9 Requests from My 9 Year Old Self


Dear Older Me,

  1. MOST IMPORTANT PLEASE READ THIS FIRST. If you have any Chuck E. Cheese tokens that you haven’t used, can you please send them to me, my cubby is the one next to Jack’s.

  2. Edgar and Paul came over with a list of things they don’t like about me such as I am bossy and I suck at layups so I should stop taking them, but it’s only because Edgar ALWAYS hogs the ball, so don’t forget NOT to pass to him and that currently we are NOT talking.

  3. Are you a professional basketball player or an astronaut? If you are both please send pictures of space basketball A.S.A.P. because Jack doesn’t believe that’s possible.

  4. I found a rock by Dr. Lee’s office I’m pretty sure is pure gold so please check this and send me money, I used up all my allowance on this dinosaur that Edgar says becomes life sized in water. I’m going to throw it into the pool when Sumi goes swimming.

  5. According to Cathy’s friend Joanna’s best friend in Mrs. Lauro’s homeroom, Isabelle’s algebra partner says that Kat really likes me. Please let me know if we are married now because Jack and I are betting his Tuesday’s string cheese on this and otherwise I owe him a lunchable.

  6. Can we trade Pokemon between time? There’s no way Charmander hasn’t evolved by now.

  7. Mrs. Lee got upset at me because I put a booger on the back of my homework but I only did that because Jack was too far away. She says I have to redo my homework so please finish it and send it back to me by Thursday.

  8. Sumi says that just because she is two years younger to me now doesn’t matter and that she will be older than me by the time we grow up, I told her that’s not mathematically even right so please check on Sumi’s age in the future (if she is older than you now, then please subtract a few years) and send back with signature and proof.

  9. I have left a red beetle I found as a present. I tied a string around it please walk it twice a day and take care of it, its name is Richard.

PLEASE REPLY FAST AND NOT IN CURSIVE PLEASE.

Me

P.S. Do not return Richard.

Thanks to Jane Hirshfield and classmates for suggestions
Written for Stanford's English 192V: Occasions of Poetry